Since writing her first book, Your Best Life, in 2006, Domonique has become Australia’s most popular life coach. More than ten million people have seen, read or heard her advice. Her latest book, The Kindness Pact: 8 Promises to make you feel good about who you are and the life you live was released in January 2015.
I live in London but my business is based in Sydney.
What do you do?
I write, coach, speak and run workshops, all with the goal of showing women (and smart men) how to get the life they want and love the life they’ve got.
What can’t you live without?
Words. I’m obsessed with sharing them. If I’m not writing, I’m crafting a keynote speech or recording a video. I’m always talking in one form or another.
Also my Crème de la Mer Eye Concentrate… eyes being the window to the soul and all that!
You’re the best-selling author of six books on living the life you want and happiness… why do you think so many people can struggle finding – and sustaining – true happiness?
Most people are looking for happiness in all the wrong places. They think it’s something they can achieve or acquire; that they’ll be happy when they’ve done this or got that. They’re looking to discover the one thing that will guarantee their happiness, so they can relax and enjoy the ride. But the truth is, enduring happiness is not a result of the things you’ve done, but the person you’ve chosen to be.
Happiness is a state of being, not one of doing or having.
Where do you find your happiness?
I am happy to be here and I really do love my life. I spend each day in a state of gratitude and with a heightened awareness of the abundance in my life. I don’t wait for big things to ‘make’ me happy, and instead make being happy within myself, my priority.
What’s on your bucket list?
Rather than having a bucket list of things I hope to do one day, I focus my energy on how I live every day. I aim to live my life by what I call the ‘hit by a bus test’. If I was hit by a bus, would I die knowing that today was a good day; that I was happy and fulfilled, honouring my values and living a life I truly enjoyed?
That doesn’t mean my life is perfect, just that I focus on creating and maintaining a life I feel good about living.
What advice do you have for silencing your ‘inner mean girl’ or critic?
You can’t always control the voice inside your head, but you always have a choice about what to listen to. Whenever my ‘inner mean girl’ speaks up, I simply tell her to ‘shut up.’ I don’t engage and I don’t debate. I simply refuse to listen.
What and where was the best meal you’ve ever eaten?
The best meal I’ve ever eaten was a Pesto Genovese at the Lido del Faro in Capri. A simple but very well made fresh pasta accompanied by an insalata di rucola and washed down with a glass (or two) of my favourite wine, Gavi di Gavi.
Lido del Faro is perched on the rocks overlooking the sea. Given how often magnificent view equals mediocre meal, discovering the food was excellent was an added delight.
Your favourite way to exercise is…
Walking outdoors. Whether it’s from Bondi to Bronte, along the coast in Perth, the Promenade in Nice or across the Commons in London, I’m happiest when my feet are pounding the pavement.
You spend your time in both Sydney and London – where is your favourite view in each city?
Sydney-siders are spoilt for choice when it comes to spectacular views, but nothing really beats the vista from Potts Point of the City, Harbour Bridge and Opera House.
My favourite view in London is the view from Skylon Restaurant at the Royal Festival Hall on the Southbank. In summer, in the twilight, I feel like I’m on the set of a Richard Curtis film.
How do you teach your children about the concept of happiness?
My children are almost 3 and 8 and I focus on showing them how to be happy as much as telling them. As a parent, the behaviour you model is the single most important thing when it comes to teaching your children how to be happy
I combine this with simple but powerful messages of unconditional love, acceptance of imperfection, the importance of being brave and the need to be kind, both to ourselves and other people.
If you weren’t doing what you are doing now, you would be…
I really can’t imagine doing anything else. Even when my husband plays his favorite game, ‘what would you do if you won the lottery?’ I say, ‘I’ll still be working on my next book.’
But… if life had taken a different turn and I had never discovered coaching I would probably be very happy working on a beauty counter one of the major beauty brands – giving my customers makeovers and showing them how beautiful they have the potential to become.
It’s not that different to my job now really – opening people’s eyes to their potential and then showing them how to make it their reality.