Kill your inner critic with kindness

Health & Wellbeing April 02 2015

8 promises to make you feel good about who you are and the life you live!

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We all know that sinking feeling, when your inner critic, or ‘mean girl’ pipes up with unsolicited commentary designed to deflate and create negativity. Even the most confident of us can fall prey to this little voice, and the slightest bit of oxygen given to these thoughts can manifest them into self-doubt and anxiety.

Life coach and best selling author, Domonique Bertolucci’s latest book The Kindness Pact: 8 Promises to make you feel good about who are and the life you live helps to build your self confidence and give you the tools to silence your self-critical thoughts. We all know we can be wonderful, supportive people to our family and friends, building them up when things bring them down – but why can’t we always do the same for ourselves?

“Feeling good about who you are and the life you live shouldn’t depend on a specific outcome, yet all too often I hear people put themselves down or beat themselves up because they haven’t done this or got that.  Your confidence shouldn’t be dependent on the goals you have achieved, nor should it be dependent on the feedback you get from others, your dress size or the amount in your bank account,” says Domonique.

Domonique has shared the eight promises from her latest book that we need to make to ourselves to ensure we give ourselves that same support and love to extend to others.

The First Promise: Accept your imperfections
Release yourself from the burden of perfectionism! When we accept our imperfections, we can recognize our best qualities and use them to our strength.

The Second Promise: Always do your best
Instead of setting unrealistic goals that we are bound to feel bad for not reaching, promise to always do your best. Your sense of self-worth will no longer be dependent on outcomes and you will feel good about who you are knowing you have done your absolute best, regardless of what you have or haven’t been able to achieve.

The Third Promise: Stop comparing yourself
We can all be prone to doing this, but comparing yourself to others will usually leave you feeling inadequate. Even if you find yourself thinking that you are better or superior in some way, this will only give your self-esteem a short-term boost.

The Fourth Promise: Believe in your potential
Not only is worrying a big waste of energy, it also sends a clear message to your subconscious about your expectations in life. When you focus instead on your potential, you are able to put your efforts towards making the things you want to do your reality.

The Fifth Promise: Silence your inner critic
Think of yourself as the guardian of your self-esteem. The way you speak to yourself has a big bearing on how you feel about yourself. Changing the way you think takes practice, and while initially you might not be able to control every single thought you have, you will always be able to decide which ones you want to pay attention to.

The Sixth Promise: Challenge yourself
Confidence and self-belief are like muscles; you need to exercise them if you want them to grow stronger. One of the best ways to build these muscles is by stepping outside of your comfort zone.

The Seventh Promise: Stop making excuses
If you are not living your best life, you need to examine not only the things that are getting in your way, but also the reasons why you are letting them.

The Eighth Promise: Love yourself
Love yourself. Treat yourself with as much love and respect as you would your closest friend, be understanding and forgiving of your failings and, above all, be as kind to yourself as you are to the other important people in your life.